


Always

by Ischa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bisexual Harry Potter, Blaise Zabini is a Good Friend, Dating, Explicit Sexual Content, H/D Sex Fair 2020, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter is Obsessed with Draco Malfoy, Inexperienced Harry Potter, M/M, Malfoy Manor, POV Alternating, Past Draco Malfoy/Blaise Zabini, Redeemed Draco Malfoy, Romance, Secret Identity, Secrets, Writer Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26493796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ischa/pseuds/Ischa
Summary: In which Draco is the (in)famous erotica writer H.J. Belladonna, writing successful scandalous novel after successful scandalous novel and hiding his true identity, and Harry is questioning his sexuality after reading one of Belladonna’s books. Until ten years after the war their paths cross again, and Harry doesn’t only question his sexuality, but also the meaning of his obsession with Draco Malfoy.“You look like something my cat dragged in,“ Blaise said from the sofa. Draco’s sofa, in Draco’s tiny flat.“You don’t have a cat, because you’re too vain, Blaise. A cat would get hair all over your expensive clothes,“ Draco replied and then ignored Blaise in favor of going into the kitchen to get some hot sweet tea into his system. Maybe that would make his day better, even if it had just started and the potential for disaster was high.Blaise followed him. “I’ll take one too.““You can’t use my home as your personal hotel, Blaise,“ Draco said, but he was already grabbing two cups out of the cupboard. He was too tired to use magic, after writing the whole night, he felt like all the magic had been absorbed by his parchment. Some of his sanity maybe too.
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 38
Kudos: 354
Collections: 2020 Harry/Draco Sex Fair





	Always

**Author's Note:**

> For Prompt #[9](https://docs.google.com/document/d/12_5f6f0xUXhqtWfMlhXRyA8kDC3KGShN3oa_IOD12DY/edit#). 
> 
> I’d like to thank my beta DiverTazSC for all the help on this. I hope the prompter enjoys my take on it.

**~Chapter One~**

Harry blinked, breathed and then shut the book and put it aside. Luna had said the author was all the rage right now, Hermione had scoffed a bit, but he knew her well enough to know that she was probably in awe of the balls this author had and secretly liked the story too. Or stories, because this was the third book by H.J. Belladonna. Harry suspected that a name like that had to be a penname. On the other hand, in the world of witches and wizards you could hardly ever tell.

He looked at the cover, it was moving, the wind gently stirring the leaves of the dark trees. It looked harmless enough at a first glance, but the longer you looked at it, the more that little bit of darkness in the right corner pulled you in, like something or someone was lurking there, waiting for you to step between the trees. Harry got the feeling of the Forbidden Forest from it, even if it didn’t look like the Forbidden Forest at all. With a cover like that he had expected to read some romance mystery and had been totally prepared to hate it and be bored as well.

Harry had always thought that he wasn’t a big reader when he had been at Hogwarts, but found out later that he enjoyed stories well enough and the Wizarding stories usually tended to keep his attention. He had a few favorite authors in the muggle world too, but he tended to stay away from all the stuff about magic. It was just too weird, because he caught himself shaking his head and comparing fiction to reality. That was no way to get sucked into a story or enjoy a book.

“What the fuck did I just read?“ There had been no real introduction to the story, you just jumped in with both feet and hoped to keep up. It was strange how it sucked you in from the very first page. Before Harry knew what was happening, he had read the first five chapters and his fingers itched to pick the book up again. But the last chapter had been very graphic. It was like – written pornography. Harry wasn’t a stranger to sex, but he hadn’t been prepared for this at all. The thought crossed his mind that Luna probably left that bit out on purpose.

He had first picked it up because Luna had said the main character was an Animagi, a wolf shifter and something nostalgic had pierced Harry’s heart, the longing to see Sirius again maybe, to have some kind of piece of him back. The wolf character was nothing like Sirius, but the whole story had sucked Harry in anyway.

He rubbed at his eyes. H.J. Belladonna was talented as hell, which Harry could admit. Did he feel a bit weird and a lot turned on by what he just read? Yes. Would that keep him away from the book or the author? No, it wouldn’t. He was going to finish this book and he was probably going to pick up the author’s previous works as well.

Luna had been right to recommend Belladonna to him.

~+~

“Did you like it?“ Luna asked.

Harry hadn’t even sat down yet, his jacket was still only half draped over the chair. “Good morning to you too,“ he said, smiling at her as he sat down.

“Good morning Harry. Did you like it?“ she asked. She had already ordered a big mug of Café au Lait and the sweet scent made his stomach growl. He should really take better care of himself he thought.

“It was different,“ Harry answered.

She nodded. “You liked it.“

Harry would have loved to deny it, but yes, he had liked it. While he was reading, it was like he was there, right there with the characters, he could nearly feel the grass between his naked toes, could feel a soft kiss on his shoulder, could feel a big hand running down his spine. He blinked. Fuck. Even now these images were so vivid it was a bit scary.

“I didn’t realize it was so-“

“Arousing? “ Luna cut in.

It was that, yes, but underneath there was darkness and vulnerability and he didn’t know why it struck a chord with him, but it had. “Yes, obviously, I guess half the people who buy her books are there for the sex, but I didn’t mean that. I mean, it’s like you’re right there with the characters, you know?“

Luna nodded. “Yes,“ she answered. “I know exactly what you mean. There is a lot of speculation about the author. And not everyone is convinced it’s a woman, Harry. Why do you think it’s a woman?“

He shrugged. He didn’t know why he assumed that, because honestly it wasn’t like the writing was very feminine or masculine for that matter. The characters felt a certain way, yes, but the writing didn’t.

“The name I think. It’s a flower,“ Harry said.

“It’s a poisonous nightshade, but yes, I guess you can call it a flower,” she teased. “You realize that H.J. could be your initials, Harry?“ Luna asked with an amused glint in her eyes.

“I’m not the author of these novels,“ Harry said. Even to his own ears he sounded a bit scandalized. He sure as hell could never come up with such poetic pornography. He hadn’t even thought of doing half the things that had been described in those novels.

“I didn’t say that, I just said that the author could be a man, is all,“ Luna replied.

Harry grabbed the menu for something to do and because he needed food inside his system too. As an Owl trainer he pretty much made his own hours, but that also meant that they weren’t very regular ones. Some owlets learned faster than others, some weren’t going to be any good at delivering letters and packages at all. Harry had stumbled into it three years ago, but he enjoyed the work and having his own business very much.

“I also think the author might like the company of other men,“ Luna continued.

Harry looked up from his menu. “If the author is a woman, sure,“ he said.

“And if they are a man?“ Luna asked.

“That would be fine too? I guess?“ Harry said. It was kind of a question, growing up in the Wizarding world he had never come across anyone who was anything other than straight. Granted he hadn’t had that much time to be a real kid and explore his surroundings because since his first year at Hogwarts he had been fighting for his life and trying to save the entire wizarding world. Wouldn’t he somehow had known if one of the people close to him had been queer?

“Or would that not be okay? I honestly don’t know how these things are handled in the Wizarding world,“ he confessed.

“Well, the old and old fashioned pureblood families will never admit they have anyone like that, because it’s all about heirs and blood lines, but of course there are queer people living amongst us. Blaise Zabini likes both women and men,“ she answered.

He remembered Blaise vaguely from school. He was handsome and refined, Harry thought. Had been friends with Draco Malfoy. Not from the beginning, Harry thought, but later. “How do you know that?“

Luna grinned at him. “I’m great at finding out secrets, comes with the job. But honestly Blaise Zabini doesn’t make a big secret out of it. I guess his mother raised him to be proud of who he is.“

He wanted to say something or ask more questions, because for some reason he intrigued by Blaise Zabini and his sexuality, but his stomach chose that moment to make an embarrassing noise. She laughed. “You should really order some food Harry.“

He nodded, perused the menu, decided on a slice of quiche, a salad and slice of chocolate cake. After their food was brought they caught each other up on their lives, but the thing about Blaise Zabini stuck with Harry for the reminder of dinner, even if neither Luna nor he had brought it up again.

Because Blaise Zabini was apparently bi-sexual, and he had been in Slytherin and Harry remembered seeing him with Draco Malfoy.

Harry hadn’t really thought about Draco Malfoy and what he might have been up to for years. Draco was now some distant thing of the past, but he was by no means a faded thing of the past. In fact, Draco was always crystal clear in Harry’s mind: all sharp edges and soft colors. That night, as he fed the birds, Harry mused that with his coloring Draco should have looked washed out, but he didn’t. He hadn’t ever looked washed out, Draco’s paleness was not sickly, it was – for a lack of a better word, enchanting to a point. He shook his head, enchanting, what the fuck? He smiled, scratched an owlets’ head and then went back through the garden to the house.

He brewed himself a cup of tea and made himself comfortable on the sofa to finish the book.

~+~

Harry hadn’t thought about Draco in years. In fact, not since the trials years ago. But now Draco Malfoy and what he was up to, if he was still in Great Britain, if he had children was at the forefront of Harry’s mind when he went about his days. All of these questions seemed to be burning inside him.

It was like Hogwarts all over again. That one year he had been endlessly obsessing about what Draco Malfoy had been doing.

Of course the difference was now that he was a grown man and somewhat even more of a celebrity. He was wiser too and wearier of people. While his friends had gone off to do great things, he had bought a house as far away as he could from any hustle and bustle of the Wizarding world and started to train owls. It was far from glamorous really but he liked the space that he could call his own.

Maybe he craved all that space and the light that streamed through the big windows so much because he had spent his first eleven years in a cupboard under the stairs. Thinking back, the way he was raised – used and mistreated – still made him angry sometimes.

He stepped outside in the garden and took a deep breath as the grass tickled his naked toes. This was better. As he stood there looking over his wild garden, a scene from ‘Amongst wolves’ came to mind and he wondered if H.J. Belladonna had been looking at something like this when he or she wrote it. For some reason that made him smile. It was like a tiny thread of connection had been spun between Harry and the mysterious author.

**~Chapter Two~**

Draco was not having a good day. For one it was way too early to be up, or maybe way too late, for another, Ivar was a fucking difficult character to work with, but trying to work on anything else hadn’t done him any good, so Ivar it was.

“You look like something my cat dragged in,“ Blaise said from the sofa. Draco’s sofa, in Draco’s tiny flat.

“You don’t have a cat, because you’re too vain, Blaise. A cat would get hair all over your expensive clothes,“ Draco replied and then ignored Blaise in favor of going into the kitchen to get some hot sweet tea into his system. Maybe that would make his day better, even if it had just started and the potential for disaster was high.

Blaise followed him. “I’ll take one too.“

“You can’t use my home as your personal hotel, Blaise,“ Draco said, but he was already grabbing two cups out of the cupboard. He was too tired to use magic, after writing the whole night, he felt like all the magic had been absorbed by his parchment. Some of his sanity maybe too.

Blaise waved it away. “You sure have enough space.“

Draco looked at him. Was Blaise fucking joking? Draco had a bedroom, a living room, kitchen and bathroom. And all of these rooms were tiny. He worked in his bedroom, for a lot of reasons. “You have enough space,“ Draco replied, because Blaise was by no means poor. Blaise’s mother had been very well off and Blaise was a spoiled rich kid and good looking too. The world was his oyster. In fact Draco had based the main character of his last novel on Blaise. Well, one of the main characters.

“I needed to not be home, and your sofa is very comfortable,“ Blaise replied and then nodded his thanks when Draco handed him a mug of hot tea. The sofa was partly so comfortable because he knew that Blaise would be using it, but neither he nor Blaise acknowledged that fact.

“Another conquest that didn’t want to leave?“ Draco asked.

“Are you going to use this one for your books if I tell you all the glorious sordid details?“

Draco waved it away. “Don’t even try. I know you are flattered.“

“It was in the way you so lovingly described my cock, Draco,“ Blaise said.

Draco smiled. “It is a lovely cock.“

“You have anything to eat?“

Draco honestly wasn’t sure. “Maybe?“

“How are you even still alive?“ Blaise asked, sighing.

“Probably because of Potter,“ Draco said. In the years since the trials he had come to terms with the fact that it had been Potter who had saved him from a lengthy stay in Azkaban. He didn’t dwell on it too much these days. He was trying to leave his past behind. He was giving it all away in tiny bits in his writing. He didn’t want it back either.

Blaise gave him a look. “Not what I meant right now.“

Draco took a sip of his tea. His brain was still half in the story he was in the process of writing, the characters feeling like demons wanting him to go back to it and finish their story, but he really needed food and sleep. Probably not in that order, but he knew that sleep wasn’t going to happen if he tried to do it now.

Draco rubbed at his eyes. “I need a shower.“

“Yes, you do and food. Go and make yourself presentable and then I’m going to take you out for breakfast,“ Blaise said.

Draco had half a mind to protest, but then just nodded. A bit of fresh air would do him a world of good.

~+~

“What is the new book about anyway?“ Blaise asked.

“I don’t know,“ Draco answered honestly. Well, it was about Ivar, but besides that? Draco had no idea how to sum it up. Things just came to him and he wrote them down. Blaise had never asked him about his writing before and he wondered why Blaise was asking now. He had started the writing as a way to get things out of his head and to earn some money, as no one had been very keen on hiring him. Now it seemed like he couldn’t stop doing it. And he hadn’t told anyone except Blaise and Pansy that he was in fact H.J. Belladonna. Pansy had given him a knowing look, but hadn’t called him out on the name.

“You don’t know?“

Draco waved his hand like that would explain anything. “Things just come to me.“

“Right,“ Blaise said.

Draco narrowed his eyes at him. “What is this really about?“

“You’ve been holed up in your flat for months, Draco. We’re a bit worried, you’re losing touch with reality.“

Draco made a noise that didn’t mean anything, but hopefully conveyed strongly how much he cared for reality. Reality was shit right now. Only ten years after the war he was still a pariah. Granted he didn’t do much to change people’s mind about him, but he honestly didn’t think he should grovel at the feet of people who had never been in the presence of the Dark Lord himself and who had left the saving of the world to a seventeen year old kid.

“Draco,“ Blaise said gently and put his hand over Draco’s.

Draco pulled it away. Blaise sighed.

“I don’t need your pity,“ Draco said. He really didn’t. He was finally making decent money. Well, it was better than the little bit he had gotten for his first book, but he knew it was less than other authors were making. He had been broke and reliant on the charity of others for far too long. He had his own place. Granted it was smaller than his childhood room had been, but it was his and there were no nightmarish memories lingering in the corners of his tiny flat, waiting to ambush him at any second.

“It’s not pity, I care about you,“ Blaise said. “Pansy too.”

Draco could feel a headache coming, probably because he hadn’t slept like a real person for days and hadn’t eaten like one either.

The nasty part of him wanted to tell Blaise to fuck off, that he had no claim just because they used to fuck for a brief time, but the more rational part of him knew Blaise meant well, knew that he didn’t have many friends left and that he needed every single one of them. That they needed him too. He wasn’t the only pariah after all, even if he was the only one with the Dark Mark on his forearm.

“I’m fine,“ Draco said and smiled at Blaise. It was the only apology Blaise would get, but Blaise didn’t need one anyway, that was not how they worked these days.

Blaise gave him a look that clearly said he knew Draco was full of shit, and yes, that was the bloody truth too, but he was glad that at least for now Blaise was going to let it go.

“Eat your breakfast,“ Blaise said.

Draco nodded. It was a nice place, for a Muggle restaurant, with its clean lines and warm wood accents. Draco liked it. Being here gave him a sense of freedom and escapism. These days Draco didn’t feel like going out to Wizarding restaurants much. It was weird of course, how still the newspapers were and it was weird how people dressed and it was weird to see same sex couples holding hands on the street like it was the most normal thing in the world.

His first book had been like that. A weird mix of imagined Muggle, old magic and wizard tradition, what had made it stand out was that the romance subplot had been about two women. Growing up Draco hadn’t understood the obsession he had with some people, now looking back at it, he knew that he had been crushing on those people. Had been crushing hard on Cedric and well, hell yes, on bloody Potter too.

The truth was also that in a pureblood household these things were not spoken about. He hadn’t read a single book, hadn’t even come across a poem about a same sex romance. Things were slowly changing now, with the influence of Muggle – born wizards and witches coming to Howards and settling down amongst wizards, but back in the day Draco had to figure it all out on his own. Well, with Blaise‘s and Pansy’s help.

He was pretty secure in his knowledge of only liking men now. Had come to terms with his sexuality years ago. And he had to thank again Blaise and Pansy for it.

He wondered if people would even read his books if it weren’t for all the explicit sex scenes and the vaguely scandalous romances.

They finished their food in silence. Once outside, Draco looked at the pale sunshine and breathed. Even the air here was different. Smelled different, tasted different. He missed the clean air of his childhood in moments like this. But he wasn’t ready to go back, didn’t know how to go back.

“The Ministry finally gave the manor back to me,” Draco said as they walked side by side. Blaise was window shopping and Draco was just putting one foot in front of the other and soaking up the little sunshine there was.

Blaise looked at him sharply. Draco stared straight ahead. “When?”

“Two weeks ago, there was a letter informing me of it. They also informed me all Dark Artifacts had been removed and the Manor had been cleansed.”

“Meaning they stole pretty much everything of value they could get away with,” Blaise said.

Draco nodded. Their fortune had been seized pretty much right away. After the trial he and his mother had spent two years abroad, but the Malfoy name and the things his father had done had followed them like a curse. It had been a shitty few years.

“It’s probably an empty shell now,” Draco said. A grand empty shell, but a shell anyway. A skeleton, a monument to all the death and destruction that occurred there. That his family let happen in the name of what, honestly? It wasn’t honor; it hadn’t been anything noble at all.

“You should sell it,” Blaise said.

Draco laughed. “Who in their right mind would buy it?”

“Someone would for sure,” Blaise said.

“Sometimes I wonder about the people you know,” Draco teased.

“You are one of the people I know,” Blaise replied.

“My point exactly,” Draco said.

“You going to go back to look at it?” Blaise asked.

Draco shook his head.

“You could live there rent-free, you know?” Blaise said.

He could live there rent-free. But he didn’t think it was worth it. The demons that lived in that place would find him and eat him alive. He didn’t have the money to remodel it, to make it into something else, something like a home. He shook his head once more.

“Or you could come and live with me,” Blaise offered, not the first time either.

“And where would you escape to when one of your pretty hook-ups won’t want to leave again?”

“Ah, so true,” Blaise agreed. “Better you keep your tiny flat with the very comfortable sofa, so I have a refuge when I need it.”

Draco shook his head, fondly. “That’s what friends are for after all.”

Blaise smiled at him, it was that secret smile, the one Draco only started noticing after he and Blaise started to sleep together.

“Look at this, isn’t it fabulous?” Blaise said and stopped in front of a window display.

The suit was and it would look very flattering on Blaise too. As Blaise dragged him into the tiny store, Draco’s eyes caught a glimpse of vivid green. It was a tie and even although it was probably not wise to spend all that money on one tie, he knew he was going to buy it.

~+~

Draco let the silk tie slide through his fingers, it felt soft and cool against his skin.

Ivar was whispering into his ears, but he tried to ignore him. There was something very enchanting about the color of it, a green like living things, it seemed to vibrate with energy. It wasn’t spelled in any kind of way, because it was Muggle, but there was something about it Draco couldn’t put his finger on.

_“You should put it around your cock then,”_ Ivar said and Draco took the quill in hand. A scene was forming in his head already and he really wasn’t sure if it was his doing or if Ivar was something else, whispering it to him. In the end it really didn’t matter, Draco thought: it was going to be written either way.

**~Chapter Three~**

Once an idea took roots, it was really hard to rip it out or ignore it. That was why Harry found himself looking at year old newspapers and cashing in favors.

“He’s back,” Neville said, handing him a cup of tea.

“Is he?” Harry asked. He didn’t know why he felt this excitement deep down in his bones.

Neville nodded. “Is this going to be sixth year all over again?”

Harry smiled. “I don’t think so.”

“Why the sudden interest in the whereabouts of one Draco Malfoy then?”

“I don’t know. Something Luna had said,” Harry confessed.

“Well, no one knows where he lives or where he works,” Neville said. “But a friend saw him at the Ministry, it was about the manor. They finally decided to give it back to the Malfoys. I mean they stripped it of pretty much everything valuable, but they couldn’t take it away from the Malfoys. Some kind of blood magic preventing anyone else to take ownership of it. It can be sold or freely given away, but if I were Malfoy I wouldn’t do either,” Neville said.

The small owl Harry had rought to Neville, who was a teacher at Hogwarts now, made happy noises as she flew around to get familiar with her new surroundings.

“You would want to keep it?” Harry asked.

Neville nodded. “He’s broke, really, it’s the only asset he has. Maybe he lives there now, who knows.”

“So, he has no money, no friends and only a cursed house to stay in.” Why come back at all then, Harry wondered.

Neville gave him a look. “Who says he has no friends, Harry?”

“Well, after the things he’s done I assumed everyone who knew him would have left him.“

“Slytherin were always a loyal bunch, Harry. We didn’t always get what they were about, or what they valued in their friendships but it isn’t less strong for it. I see it now with the younger kids. Slytherin values aren’t bad, they’re just different. Suited to certain people, they complement other houses’ strengths and values as well.”

Harry had of course never thought about it that way, but that was most likely because everyone he had met that first year had been biased towards Slytherin in one way or other. They had seemed cruel, aloof and distant.

“That is why we, and with we I mean the younger teachers, encourage mingling and interhouse friendships,” Neville added.

For a moment Harry wondered how things would have been different if he and Draco would have gotten along, if interhouse friendships had been fostered when he had been at Hogwarts.

Neville leaned in and looked at Harry. “It’s not too late, you know?”

“For what?” Harry asked.

“For whatever put that look of longing on your face just now, Harry,” Neville replied.

“What if that look had to do with Malfoy?”

Neville leaned back in his armchair. “He stood trial, he paid for the things he did, more than I think he should have. The Ministry had clearly made an example of the Malfoys. Granted I hadn’t thought that at the age of eighteen, but I am wiser now. He was punished enough. I chose to look forward and leave the past behind. I want a better future for me and the students in my care and I don’t think being petty and vindictive will help me with that goal.”

“Thank you, Neville.”

“That said, please be careful? We don’t know what he has been up to the last ten years, or what he has been through,” Neville continued.

“I’m always careful.”

“Right, I must have confused you with some other Harry James Potter,” Neville teased.

Harry grinned and got up from the chair. “Thanks for the tea.”

“Thanks for the owl,” Neville replied.

~+~

Harry had no real excuse for why he was here in the first place. Probably just curiosity. Malfoy manor stood there like a tomb. He could feel the magic coming from it. Humming just out of reach. The building seemed perfectly intact and structurally sound, but it also seemed like it wanted Harry gone. He didn’t think the building really had any feelings about him being here, but looking at it – well, it looked hostile.

The gate was open and he pushed gently to see if he would be let in. Once he was sure nothing nasty was going to attack him, and why would it really, he stepped on the grounds.

The Ministry officials had been in and out of this place for years it seemed after all, so Harry should be safe enough. Harry had imagined the grounds to be overgrown, but they weren’t. The pathways were clear, the hedges trimmed, there were even some night blooming flowers. The air smelled sweet, luring Harry deeper into the vast gardens behind the manor. He wandered the pathways until he came to a maze. He shuddered and turned around, he wasn’t going to go inside it.

“What are you doing here?” a sharp voice asked and although it had been years since Harry had heard that voice he recognized it immediately. A small ball of light illuminated the space between them a moment latter. “Potter.” Draco said.

'I was looking for you.’ was on the tip of his tongue, because that was what he had been doing. He hadn’t admitted it to himself until this very moment, but yes, Harry came to the manor in the vague hope that Draco would be here. But it would be stupid to tell Draco that, wouldn’t it? In the past it had never paid off for either of them to show vulnerability to the other.

“I asked you a question, Potter. You do realize you’re trespassing right?”

“The gate wasn’t locked,” Harry answered.

“That doesn’t mean anyone can just waltz in as they please,” Draco replied.

“The Ministry did,” Harry said and regretted it a second later.

Draco’s eyes were like daggers. “Get lost Potter,” he said and then just turned around and started walking.

It didn’t sit right with Harry for some reason. The old Draco would have done – something. Something else, he wouldn’t have just walked away.

“Draco, wait,” Harry yelled after him.

Draco didn’t wait. He disappeared into the dark shadows the manor cast. Harry wasn’t stupid enough to try and get inside. By now Draco had most likely strengthened the blood magic inside and around the manor.

He rubbed the bridge of his nose. What the hell had he been thinking? He shook his head. He should go home.

~+~

A week later he found himself at the gates of the manor again. They were closed. A soft push did nothing to gain him access and when he tried magic the gates flared a cold blue and he stepped away. He looked up at the manor. In the light of day it didn’t look any friendlier. The windows were dark holes and the whole place looked unwelcoming. He wondered why Draco had claimed it, why he had returned to it. He looked away from the house and to the gardens behind it. In daylight they looked even more beautiful.

He just stood there and stared at it all. It must have been really beautiful once upon a time.

“What do you want?” Draco asked, materializing in front of him on the other side of the gate.

That was the question, wasn’t it? What did Harry want? “Just curious I guess.”

“Be curious somewhere else,” Draco replied. “And stop stalking me.”

“I’m not stalking you, Draco,” Harry said. It was a strange pleasure to use Malfoy’s first name in front of Draco himself.

“What do you call this then?” Draco asked, he waved a hand between them. His hands were pale and slender, his fingers long. A fragment from Belladonna’s book came to mind, a very sensual bit of writing about, what was basically just a handjob, but Harry had to will himself not to blush as he followed Draco’s hand with his eyes.

“Potter!” Draco said sharply.

Harry’s eyes snapped to Draco’s face. “Yes?”

“What do you call this?” Draco asked, but now he didn’t seem so hostile anymore. He seemed a bit amused.

“Curiosity,” Harry answered, because he had been caught off guard. “Are you going to move back in?” He asked, before Draco could ask another question.

Draco looked at him for what seemed like an eternity, his grey eyes sharp, calculating. Harry was fully prepared for Draco to just leave him standing there without an answer. But Draco had always surprised Harry, not always in a good way, mind you, but the fact still stood.

“No,” Draco said eventually. That ‘no’ was so final that Harry didn’t know what to say. Draco looked back to the manor and Harry followed his gaze. It seemed to settle on a pair of windows on the first floor. He wondered if that had been Draco’s room. He wondered how that room had looked when Draco had been just a kid.

“You should go now, Potter,” Draco said and then he did turn around and Harry had the insane urge to stick his hand through the bars of the intricate gate and grab Draco’s hand, to pull him back, but he didn’t. He just watched as he did the last time while Draco disappeared into the shadows of the manor.

~+~

“It is sixth year all over again,” Ron moaned. They had just finished dinner and had settled down for drinks in the living room. Harry had started his tale about Draco as soon as Ron had poured them drinks and coffee.

“I was right sixth year,” Harry replied. He had been right sixth year. He wished he hadn’t been right and the events in the bathroom still haunted him sometimes in his dreams, but mostly he had come to terms with everything that had happen. Getting away from it all had helped with that.

Hermione exchanged a look with her husband. “You were right back then. But what is this about? So Malfoy claimed his family home, so what?”

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. Hermione was right, so what? What did it have to do with Harry? Nothing, really.

“He’s not up to no good,” Ron said and made a face. “Never thought those words would come over my lips.”

“Ron is right. Malfoy is…well, we don’t know what he does for a living or where he lives or what he has been up to the last ten years, but if it had been anything shady, the authorities would have done something about it,” Hermione said. “You don’t have to do this anymore.”

“Do what?” Harry asked a bit confused.

“Look out for everyone, uncover dark plots, and all that stuff,” Ron cut in and Hermione nodded.

“I’m not doing that,” Harry said, because he wasn’t doing that. He didn’t think Draco was up to no good. Nothing about their interactions had indicated anything of that matter. What he got from Draco those two times was that he wanted to be left alone.

“What are you doing?” Hermione asked gently.

He kind of hated that tone, it usually meant she was pretty sure what he was doing or even knew something he hadn’t figured out for himself yet.

Harry sighed. “I don’t know.”

Ron gave him a look and then sighed too. “But you will keep doing it, won’t you?”

Harry grinned at him. They knew each other just too well. “Yeah, I think I will keep doing it.”

Ron and Hermione exchanged another one of those looks. She put her hand on Harry’s. “Just remember that whatever happens we will be here for you.”

He knew that, so he nodded, but he had no idea why she was telling him that right now. What the hell did she think would happen?

**~Chapter Four~**

Bloody Potter, Draco thought as he was walking the mostly empty halls of the manor. Most of the furniture was gone, so where the books, the paintings, the ancient, priceless artifacts.

The manor felt empty, he honestly didn’t know why he was even still here.

He had his own tiny place, away from all the demons and nightmares after all. He should return to it, he should return to his new book, should work on Ivar’s story.

He touched a marble column and then leaned against it. It felt solid and cool and nice. He closed his eyes for a few moments, tried to remember the happy times he had spent here. There had been a few, but less and less the older he had gotten.

It was getting dark anyway. He didn’t like being inside the manor after it got dark. The gardens, the vast grounds where a whole other deal. They felt safe somehow.

He got up and after a last glance at the closed door of his childhood room he left the manor.

~+~

Blaise looked up from the parchment and arched a brow. “Can you even write that?” he asked.

“I just wrote it. You read it. So obviously I can write it,” Draco replied, irritably. He had been up pretty much the whole night to get the next chapter done, and yes, it was mostly pornography, but it was what it was. Some of it might have been inspired by bloody Potter too.

Blaise snorted. “Right, you know what I mean. Will it be published?”

Draco shrugged. At this point he didn’t even really care if it got published, this one felt different. He was self-aware enough to know that all of his characters were pieces of himself in a way, but this one was – this one was a whole other deal.

“If no one wants it, I will do it,” Blaise said.

Draco looked at him. “What?”

“I’ll just start a publishing house, should have done that from the start to be honest. You could have made me rich. Been playing with the idea for a while now,” Blaise said.

Draco smiled. “Richer,” he corrected.

Blaise waved it away. “Point is, I should have been the one to get your artistic vision out there, H.J. Belladonna.”

“I’m a deviant, just ask the Prophet,” Draco said. Because really, the Prophet liked to speculate about his private life and quote the more scandalous scenes from his books. They also liked to write bad reviews of his books.

Blaise grinned. “Oh, Draco, I always knew that about you.”

Draco thought it over. He could trust Blaise, he was under no obligation to publish with his last publisher. In fact he was pretty sure they wanted him to write something a bit more lighthearted, but that was just not Draco’s style. Sex wasn’t romance and Draco didn’t think of himself as a romantic.

“It’s a deal, Blaise,” Draco said.

“Excellent,” Blaise replied. “Just let me read this once more. Why didn’t we try anything like that when we used to fuck?”

Draco shrugged. “You can try it now.”

“Not with you, I can’t,” Blaise said.

Which was perfectly true, so Draco didn’t feel the need to reply.

“Why did you let me read it?” Blaise asked. “You never handed me an unpublished script before.”

Draco didn’t know. Things were changing, maybe that was the only reason so he told Blaise that. Besides Blaise cared about his mental health.

“Changing how?”

“Potter is stalking the manor,” Draco said. He needed to talk with someone about it and Pansy would probably only roll her eyes at him and tell him to do some of the lovely filthy things with Potter he was constantly writing about.

“Ah,” Blaise said.

“Ah?”

“Well, things are changing, you are right,” Blaise replied. He looked at Draco, it always felt to Draco like Blaise could look right inside you, he wouldn’t always share what he saw there, but he saw things you didn’t even want to look at yourself.

“Spit it out, Blaise,” Draco said.

“You and Potter: you were always so intense about each other,” Blaise said.

“He thought I was evil, I thought he was such a saint,” Draco replied. He knew very well that all his anger and resentment towards Potter had been because he had chosen Weasley over Draco. It seemed like such a childish thing now, but he had been a child back then. He had been raised to expect the best and to think very highly of himself. He had been raised to believe the world owed him, was his oyster. It was a harsh awakening and he responded with anger, because he had never learned how to respond to rejection any other way.

“It’s a good thing he was such a saint, or otherwise we wouldn’t be here now. You wouldn’t be able to express yourself by writing scandalous pornographic novels.”

“Should I be grateful then? Should I grovel at his feet?” Draco hissed.

Blaise grinned lazily. “I know that that is not your style, Draco. But yes, maybe we should all be grateful for how things had turned out. Do we deserve all the hatred and scorn that is thrown our way? No, because we were kids just trying to survive, with no fucking sane adults to show us how, but Draco, so was Potter and his merry friends.”

“You live what you learn,” Draco said.

“Very philosophical of you, but you can unlearn things too,” Blaise said. “I guess I can be glad that mom never leaned too hard into all that pureblood stuff. She focused on other Slytherin attributes.”

Draco nodded, the joke was of course that both Snape and Voldemort weren’t purebloods at all. There was no superiority in blood, there was only tradition and invention and will.

“As we all should have done,” Draco said. Over the last ten years he had come to terms with his father’s failures and his greed. He had realized that he wasn’t his father, had never been a mini copy of Lucius Malfoy. Draco had too many other passions, had been too smart for his own good. Had always had too much from his mother inside him.

He had realized that he probably never loved his father, not like a child should have. He craved the recognition and approval, but had known deep down that his father had seen him as an heir to his own achievements, so they could live on. He had never seen Draco.

“You’re leaning into it now hard, Draco,” Blaise said.

Draco nodded. He had been sick of feeling miserable. It had been time to reinvent himself. So he invented H.J. Belladonna, but he was well aware that should anyone discover his secret his writing career would go up in flames. People still said the Malfoy name with disdain like it was an unpleasant taste in their mouths.

Maybe he should just change his name.

But honestly, after twenty-seven years he kind of got attached to it.

~+~

“What you’re doing is called stalking, Potter,” Draco said. He had been very aware of Potter sitting outside the gates. The wards had told him that. He had ignored it in hopes that Potter would get bored staring at the manor and just leave, but that was three hours ago.

“Draco,” Potter said and turned around. It seemed he had been not only lurking around the gate, but had in fact been reading one of H.J. Belladonna’s books. One of Draco’s books.

“Don’t you have work or something?” Draco asked. His eyes wandered to Potter’s hands holding the book.

“You know it?”

“Know what?” Draco asked. Why was he still here talking to Potter? Why couldn’t he ever just leave Potter alone?

Potter held up the book.

“Yes, I know it.”

“Read it?” Potter asked.

Draco nodded. “Yes, I read it. Didn’t ever take you for a big reader.”

“I didn’t use to be,” Potter replied, “But something about Belladonna sucks you in, it’s intoxicating.”

Draco smiled, pleased despite himself. “Intoxicating.”

“I guess they chose their pen-name well,” Harry said.

Draco’s heart missed a beat. Was Potter on to him? Was his fledgling writing career going to crash down around him? Was Potter fucking playing with him?

“What makes you think it’s a pen-name?” Draco asked.

Potter shrugged. “Just a feeling, besides if you were writing pornography, tasteful pornography, but still, would you do it under your real name?”

“I don’t think a publisher would give me the time of day, Potter. Me being a war-criminal and all,” Draco replied, coldly.

“You were seventeen,” Potter said.

“You were seventeen,” Draco replied.

Potter didn’t have a comeback to that and Draco was seriously doubting his sanity. He should be inside, looking for things left behind by the ministry. Trinkets really, relicts of his old life, that he could maybe sell.

“What are you going to do about the manor?” Potter asked, closing the book and standing up. He was nearly as tall as Draco now, he always used to be smaller. Draco had enjoyed looking down on Potter. He had filled out too. He was broader than Draco, who was still slim and made up of sharp angles.

“What is it to you?”

“Just curious I guess,” Potter said.

“Get lost before I call the Aurors on you.”

“You wouldn’t,” Potter said mildly.

Which was of course true. No one would even show up, Draco was sure, and especially not when he wanted to get Potter arrested for stalking. He didn’t need Aurors on his property anyway and Potter, the bastard, knew it.

“Get lost, Potter.”

“Draco-“

“Stop calling me that!” Draco exploded and then he turned around and fucking left.

The inside of the manor was cool. The wall at his back felt chilling in fact. There was no fire lit and no lamps burning. It was a fucking tomb, Draco really wondered what the hell he was doing here.

~+~

“I think,” Pansy said, “Ivar is a version of you and Basil is a version of Potter.” She put the parchment on the coffee table and looked at him.

Yes, Draco had come to pretty much the same conclusion. “But is it obvious?” He asked. Blaise had big plans for this book. He was really into this whole publishing thing and he told Draco he was going to specialize in pornography. Well, erotica.

Pansy shrugged. “Maybe to people who know you, maybe to people who know Potter. But I wouldn’t worry about that part, because everyone and their grandmother think they know Potter. All the biographies that came out after the war and the millions of newspaper articles. The boy who wouldn’t die,” she said the last words with a touch of doom in her voice and then smiled at Draco.

“He’s reading my books,” Draco said.

“Is that why you described every single hot detail of Ivar fucking Basil?” Pansy asked.

Was that the reason? Maybe? Maybe he was reimagining their history and had spiced it up with a lot of sex.

“It is hot then?”

Pansy snorted. “As if you don’t know. How long did you have those thoughts about Potter, Draco?”

He shrugged. “On and off again for years, I guess.” Sometimes the sex he had imagined would be so violent he would never do it in real life. Despite everything he had done he didn’t actually relish hurting people, but his mind was a labyrinth full of dark desires. It was good to get some of them out into the world in a non-violent way.

“I figured,” Pansy said. “Now that he’s stalking you, are you going to act on any of it?”

He shook his head, but it wasn’t a no. “It would be stupid to get involved with anyone at this point.”

“Blaise will publish your books no matter what,” Pansy said.

“Yes, but will people buy them once they know a former Death Eater had written them? I don’t think so Pansy.” The income from the books was his only income and there were talks about translations into other languages, which was good, but he wasn’t swimming in money. He couldn’t risk having his identity exposed, not for another few years at least.

“You don’t have to marry the guy, but wouldn’t that be delightfully scandalous? Just fuck his brains out and be done with it.”

“Good advice,” he said, sarcastically.

She grinned at him.

Fuck, Draco thought, she was right, he wanted to have sex with Potter. And Potter showing up at his gate, begging to be let in, was only making it harder to resist.

**~Chapter Five~**

It was sixth year all over again, but worse. Harry could admit that to himself. It was also not sixth year again exactly, because he knew that Draco wasn’t planning anything evil. Harry was obsessed with Draco, because he was obsessed with Draco.

That was an unpleasant realization.

He grabbed the last Belladonna book and re-read the bits about attraction and then he went back and reread the sex-scenes. There was something about it, Harry had thought it was the writing, but maybe it was – well, maybe it was the fact that one of the characters reminded him of Draco. The way he talked maybe.

He groaned. There was only one way to find out if it was the sensual writing of Belladonna that made Harry think about kissing Draco breathless or if it was – well, Draco.

~+~

He had done some research with his mobile phone on same-sex romance books and had ordered a bunch from a London Muggle bookstore.

After spending a weekend reading bits and pieces of these books he was pretty sure that it was him and Draco and not the sensual writing of one H.J. Belladonna. But the Belladonna books had set Harry on this little adventure of self-discovery.

The question was, of course, what he was going to do about it now?

It wasn’t like he could just walk up to Draco Malfoy and ask him for a date. He didn’t even know if Draco was even a little bit interested in him or men in general. The last few times Harry had shown up at the gates of the Manor Draco hadn’t let him in, had barely talked to him at all.

But Luna had said that Blaise Zabini liked both men and women and he was still friends with Draco, so Draco probably wasn’t in any way disgusted by homosexuality.

Harry hadn’t been friendly with Blaise back in the day, but he hadn’t been unfriendly either. Blaise had always been kind of out of reach, he hadn’t made Harry’s life actively difficult. In fact Harry couldn’t remember hearing much about Blaise making anyone’s life difficult just for the sake of it. There had been rumors about his mother, but then, there had been rumors about a lot of things and a lot of people. There had been rumors about Sirius and those hadn’t been true at all.

Maybe he should just talk to Blaise Zabini.

What harm could it do, really?

~+~

“Harry Potter, hero of the Wizarding world,” Blaise said, he was smiling, but there was something sharp in his mile, something calculating in his eyes. Maybe it was a Slytherin trait.

“Thank you for seeing me,” Harry said, trying not to wince. He hated it when he was being called a hero.

“I have to admit, I was intrigued by your letter,” Blaise replied and motioned for Harry to follow him. The townhouse was huge. It reminded Harry of the period dramas he had sometimes snatched episodes of when he was a child. “It’s not like we have ever been friends, Potter. Or even friendly.”

“Harry,” Harry said with a smile. Somehow it just didn’t have the same ring to it when someone else called him by his last name. Draco had this special way of saying it.

“Harry,” Blaise said and Harry knew it was an invitation to call Blaise by his first name too. They entered a spacious living room and sat down. Blaise offered him tea and a maid served it.

“What brings you here, Harry. Your letter didn’t make that really clear.”

The letter hadn’t made anything clear, but he had hoped that Blaise would see him, purely because he was Harry Potter and all Slytherins were opportunists to some degree. Which wasn’t a bad thing at all.

Was there a good way to start this conversation? Not really, or if there was, then Harry had never learned it.

Blaise took a sip of his tea and waited. Harry took a deep breath.

“It’s about Draco Malfoy,” Harry said and Blaise laughed.

“Of course it is,” Blaise said and looked at Harry sharply.

“I am not stalking him and I don’t think he’s up to something evil,” Harry hurried to explain.

The amusement was back in Blaise’s eyes. “I heard something else about your stalking Potter, I guess you do have some experience with that.”

“It’s not sixth year all over again,” Harry said groaning and Blaise laughed again. He had a good laugh, melodic and welcoming. Inviting you in to join him.

“What is it that you want, exactly from Draco, I mean?”

Harry shrugged. “I don’t know. I think maybe get to know this current him. It’s been ten years. We have all changed.”

“Most of us have,” Blaise replied.

“Maybe buy him dinner at a nice place,” Harry said in nearly a whisper.

“He would appreciate that I think, as he’s broke and all,” Blaise stated.

“At least he’s not homeless,” Harry heard himself say.

Blaise looked at him. “Would you go back to the place where people have been murdered? I don’t see you living in Godric’s Hollow.”

“I went back when I was trying to find the other Horcruxes,” Harry said.

“You didn’t stay, you’re not living there,” Blaise pointed out.

“I don’t think Draco is living at the manor,” Harry replied.

“Well, he’s certainly doing something in that tomb of a house,” Blaise sighed. “Ask away, I know now why you’re here, so ask and I shall answer.”

“Truthfully?” Harry asked and Blaise smiled again, like he was proud.

“Yes, truthfully, Harry.”

“You know him well,” Harry said.

Blaise nodded. “Yes.”

“Is he at all interested in men?” Harry made himself ask. He wasn’t looking at Blaise, in fact he was looking at the delicate teacup in his hands.

“Yes,” Blaise replied.

Harry’s eyes snapped to Blaise’s face. “Oh, good.” It was stupid how relieved he felt by that little yes. Just because Draco was into men, it didn’t mean he would be into Harry. That was not how attraction worked after all.

“Do you think he could be into me?”

“Buy him dinner,” Blaise said.

Harry was pretty sure that Blaise would not answer his question outright or truthfully. He supposed that was only fair: Blaise didn’t owe Harry anything and he was Draco’s friend.

“Thank you, Blaise,” Harry said and took a sip of his tea. It was excellent.

“Harry, you want to be more than friends with Draco, right?”

“I don’t know. The truth is that I don’t know him,” Harry said and realized that it was really true. He had probably never known Draco. He had imagined Draco, had built him up in his mind and his memory to be this antagonist of his childhood. But they had only a handful of encounters and conversations over the years.

“Fair enough,” Blaise said. “I still have to warn you. If you hurt him I will end you and I don’t care that you are the hero of the Wizarding world, you understand me?”

Harry nodded, realizing something else in that moment: Blaise and Draco had been together at one point and Blaise still had strong feelings for Draco. He believed Blaise that he would end Harry if Harry hurt Draco. He also believed that Blaise would get away with it.

“I don’t intend to hurt him, but this is new to me. I might mess up along the way. More than once. Often in fact,” Harry replied.

Blaise smiled again. “You know what? Harry?”

“What?”

“I think I might like you,” Blaise said and leaned back in his armchair.

The thing was that Harry thought he might like Blaise too.

~+~

Inviting Draco to dinner was not an easy task. He had been well aware that Harry being Harry wouldn’t work on Draco – at all. He had known that he would have to work for it and maybe it was the fact that he had to work for it that made him keep it up. That added to the excitement of it all.

“I should hex you Potter,” Draco said, and he sounded weary. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “But I guess then I would be the one blamed for attacking the hero of the Wizarding world.”

Harry frowned. “You look awful.”

“Are you here because you’re still trying to buy me dinner?” Draco asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He was wearing robes, he was pretty much always wearing robes and Harry had no idea how his body looked underneath. Robes concealed an awful lot. Why hadn’t he realized that before?

“Yes,” Harry said. Because he had been trying to invite Draco to dinner for the past week. In fact he had invited Draco and Draco had refused every single one of his invitations.

“You shouldn’t tell me I look awful then, Potter.”

“You want me to tell you you look pretty? Want me to compliment you like I would a girl?”

“What does my gender have to do with that?” Draco asked.

Well, if Draco wanted compliments, Harry was sure he could come up with something. Draco looked at him and Harry looked back. “If I get this right, will you go out with me, Draco Malfoy?”

“Dinner is not a date,” Draco said sharply.

One step forward, two steps back, Harry thought. Was it really worth all the trouble? He looked at Draco’s weary face, the way he held himself and decided that yes, it was worth all the trouble, Draco was worth it.

“Dinner is not a date,” Harry replied and watched as Draco blinked and relaxed just a fraction.

“I shot you down every single time you asked, Potter. Why keep it up?”

“Because I’m stubborn and reckless and I want to get to know you. And I think you refused just out of spite or on principle.”

“You know me,” Draco said, but Harry recognized the challenge there.

“I know you as well as you know me, Draco. We were stupid, petty kids and there are ten years of us evolving from that. I don’t know you. I don’t think I ever knew you, Draco.”

Draco looked at him for a long time, and Harry held still for that inspection.

“Fine,” Draco said.

“Fine? Fine what?” Harry dared to tease.

Draco rolled his eyes. “Fine, I accept your invitation to dinner.”

“Great,” Harry said. “This weekend? I’ll send an owl?”

Draco nodded. “Now if you could kindly stop stalking me?”

Harry took the hint.

On the way home, he wondered if Draco had only given in because Harry had been so persistent. He was very aware that if a woman had told him no the first time he wouldn’t have shown up at her house every other day to invite her again.

“Fuck,” he said as he toed off his shoes. Was Draco really willing or did he feel like he hadn’t had the choice?

~+~

Harry had started three letters to let Draco know that he didn’t have to go to dinner with Harry and then crumbled them all up. He wanted to go to dinner with Draco. Selfishly he didn’t want to give Draco an out now that he had finally agreed.

He chose a cozy restaurant outside of London in a small Wizarding community. He was the first one to arrive and the five minutes until Draco appeared at the entrance had been torture.

“I hope this is fine,” Harry said, suddenly feeling nervous as hell. Draco was probably used to fancy places. On the other side, Harry didn’t know what Draco had been up to the last ten years, maybe he liked cozy restaurants too. Maybe he had even liked them before.

“It’s fine, Potter,” Draco said as they sat down. They went through the motions of ordering and Harry just observed Draco. Even now after ten years and the horrific things he had seen and done as a teenager, there was something regal about Draco.

“You’re staring, Potter,” Draco said.

“You look like a prince,” Harry said before he could check himself.

Draco smiled. “Well, I was raised as one, wasn’t I?”

“I guess, but honestly, I wouldn’t know,” Harry answered. “Draco,” he began, but then their food was delivered to their table and he bit his lip. He waited until they were alone before he took a deep breath and asked the question that needed to be asked. “Are you only here because you think you have no other choice? Because I am who I am and you are-“

“A banished, disgraced prince?” Draco interrupted.

“Wasn’t your banishment self-imposed?” Harry asked.

“Maybe partly,” Draco said. “It wasn’t like we could have stayed, without money or a home.”

Harry winced inwardly, that was true of course.

“It wasn’t like anyone would have hired me or trained me in a profession here either,” Draco continued. “It was either leave or poverty.” Draco looked him in the eyes then. “I don’t think I would have liked poverty.”

“So what are you doing now? I mean, you aren’t employed anywhere,” Harry asked.

“Your stalking knows no bounds, does it?” Draco answered, but Harry was pretty sure he was amused.

Fuck, Harry thought, he got sidetracked again. “Draco, you didn’t answer my original question.”

“You really think you can make me do things, Potter?” Draco asked.

“I don’t know. Objectively speaking, I am in a position of power.”

Draco smiled, it was a razor thin thing and it made a shiver run down Harry’s spine. It wasn’t totally unpleasant. “If thinking that makes you feel better.”

“Draco-“

“It was curiosity, I guess,” Draco eventually answered the question. “You didn’t wear me down, Potter. Maybe I want to know who you are now too.”

Harry nodded, he was pretty sure there were other reasons, but Draco wasn’t ready or willing to disclose them just yet and Harry wasn’t going to insist Draco tell him. Curiosity was good, he decided. It was a start. A good start even.

Later when he was on his way home again, he realized that Draco had not answered the other important question. What was Draco doing for money these days? Harry shook his head, fondly. At least Draco had agreed to let Harry buy him dinner again.

**~Chapter Six~**

“You are dating Harry Potter,” Draco said to his mirror-self.

His mirror-self winked at him. Neither he nor Potter had called it that – yet, but it was what was happening. After that first dinner it had kind of escalated. He was having a meal with Potter pretty much every other day now. There were little touches, too. Draco was well aware that Potter was coming on to him. He was kind of waiting for that famous stupid Gryffindor bravery to push Potter over the edge and kiss Draco one of these days.

He was not in the slightest surprised that he really wanted Potter to kiss him or do even more than that.

Draco Malfoy, disgraced princeling of Slytherin now dating Harry James Potter, hero of the Wizarding world. Who would have thought?

Not him that was for sure. Draco had been fully prepared to hate Potter for the rest of his life after Potter had declined his friendship. But the rest of his life was a long time. And it had turned out there were worse things than not having Harry Potter as a friend.

He wondered if Potter knew what he was doing.

~+~

“Well, there are rumors of course about the new book,” a young witch a table over said, and Draco tried not to react to it. Speculation about his new book were rampant to put it mildly.

“It’s probably going to be even more scandalous than the last one,” her companion replied.

“Belladonna sure has a way with words,” the witch sighed. She was clearly a fan, Draco thought.

Her companion scoffed. “It’s all pornography.”

“With feelings,” the witch replied hotly.

Draco smiled into his coffee.

“What are you smiling about?” Harry asked as he sat down with his own coffee. It was Harry’s second cup and he had also gotten them pastries, even though Draco hadn’t said anything about wanting one. But he really, really wanted one.

“Nothing,” Draco replied.

“People don’t usually smile about nothing, Draco,” Potter said and pushed the plate with pastries in Draco’s direction. At times Draco felt like Harry wanted to fatten him up.

“Want to pry all my secrets out of me?”

“Not all, some maybe,” Potter allowed.

Draco took a poppyseed pastry and bit into it. Harry was watching him eat.

“Is that a kink of yours?” Draco asked after he was finished.

“What?” Potter asked startled.

“Watching people eat? Feeding people for that matter?”

“It’s how I show my affection I guess?” Potter replied. “I never got enough food as a child. My cousin did and so my brain probably associates food somehow with carrying and love.”

Draco swallowed. “Dumbledore hopefully rots in hell right now. He deserves it for leaving you with those hateful people.”

Harry nodded, but didn’t say anything. Maybe he had made peace with Dumbledore’s machinations a long time ago. Maybe he just didn’t want to think about it all right now. “People one table over are speculating about Belladonna’s new book,” Draco said.

“And you find this amusing?” Harry asked.

“Yes, don’t you? I mean, what good does it do? It’s not like they have any influence over it, right? Belladonna will write whatever the hell he wants. And people will either like it or they won’t.”

“You think Belladonna is a man?” Harry asked.

Crap, Draco thought. “Belladonna could be a man.”

“But you think Belladonna is a man,” Harry said. “Why?”

“Do you think Belladonna is a woman?”

“You’re doing it again, Draco.”

“What?”

“Deflecting the question,” Harry answered, mildly.

Draco sighed. “I know Belladonna is a man, okay?”

Harry frowned. “Oh, you know who it is,” Harry whispered.

Draco nodded. “Don’t ask me who it is.”

“I won’t,” Harry said.

Draco really hoped he hadn’t made a mistake by admitting that he knew who Belladonna really was.

“So, is that what you’re doing? You’re working with him? Editing? Publishing? I heard that Blaise is founding a publishing house.” Harry wanted to know.

It was so weird to Draco that Potter and Blaise weren’t only friendly, but on their way to becoming friends.

“Yes,” Draco replied. “I’m working with him.” It was the truth, kind of after all.

“You’re not going to tell me anything else about it, are you?” Harry asked.

Draco shook his head. “No.”

“Well, at least I know now that you aren’t selling dangerous potions on the black market.”

“Would you still have dated me if I was doing just that?” Draco asked.

“Yes,” Harry answered without any hesitation, just confirming what Draco had been thinking for days. They were dating. This whole thing with Harry was getting real.

“I would have tried to offer you money of course, so you wouldn’t have to sell dangerous potions on the black market.” He continued.

“I would have declined, because I like to have my own money and be independent and you’re too young to be my sugar daddy.”

“Would it count as being a sugar daddy if we haven’t even kissed yet, Draco?” Harry asked. And there was that stupid Gryffindor bravery.

“You have the worst timing, Potter,” Draco said, looking around the café pointedly.

“You don’t want us to be seen kissing?”

“I don’t want our first kiss to be a public spectacle, do you?” Draco asked.

Harry shook his head. “No. I guess I just got carried away, because for a moment there you let me in, Draco.”

He had, because he liked Potter and because it was flattering to be liked by Potter. To be wanted the way Potter obviously wanted him.

“Maybe we should finish our coffees,” Draco said.

~+~

Draco could still feel the ghost of Harry’s kiss. For what it was worth Harry hadn’t been hesitant or intimidated about it. In fact Harry Potter was a good kisser. He had obviously had some practice.

He had confessed to Draco being the first man he ever kissed, but really, Draco had known that. If there had been any rumors at all about Harry Potter getting it on with a man, Blaise would have heard about it and so Draco would have heard about it too. Draco would be Harry’s first. His first kiss with a man, the first man to blow him, the first man to fuck him, the first man Harry would fuck, because Draco wanted to feel Harry deep inside him as much as he wanted to be inside Harry.

He was doomed, it was that easy.

~+~

“The formalities are nearly dealt with, Zabini Publishing will be up and running soon. Once it’s all finalized, I will let Pansy design a raunchy mysterious cover for your new book,” Blaise said.

“Please don’t,” Draco answered, taking a sip of the excellent tea Blaise had served him.

“You take the fun out of it already and we haven’t even started,” Blaise sighed. “I really don’t know why you didn’t come to me with your first book, Draco.”

“Yes, you do,” Draco replied. Draco had been desperate, and the book had been done. It had written itself really in those desperate hours he felt like he would never get his life back on track again.

“You wanted to make it on your own,” Blaise said gently.

Draco nodded, because there was really nothing else to add to that. He had wanted to see if he could make it on his own. And it seemed that yes, he could. Of course, he had been without an agent back then and had no real idea how to get a book published and he had known that he would not be able to publish it under his own name either. He had lied and he had mislead and he had gotten his book out there. Of course, he hadn’t gotten paid nearly enough for it. He had learned from it though. He had gotten more money for the second and third books. Now he was, well Belladonna was, a well-known name. Even if he still wasn’t rich. Probably never would be as well off as his family had been before the war.

“So, how is Harry?” Blaise asked, out of nowhere. Draco should have seen it coming, really.

“Don’t you talk to him frequently?” Draco answered.

Blaise nodded. “Of course, I do, Draco. I guess I was just wondering if you have done any of those delightfully filthy things with him yet. You know the ones you write so sensually about?”

“If I had, I wouldn’t share any details with you anyway.”

“Are you going to tell him before you fuck him?” Blaise asked.

“About what? My career as an erotica writer? Why does he have to know?” Draco asked.

“Because secrets between you two never ended well,” Blaise replied, with a flicker of his eyes to Draco’s chest.

Draco fought the impulse to put his hand over the scar Harry had left him with sixth year and won.

“I hardly think me being an erotica writer and me working for the Dark Lord are the same things, Blaise.”

“You are right, of course. Just saying,” Blaise replied.

Draco knew that Blaise had a point. It seemed Harry hated secrets, hated being lied to, too. Draco could understand, after all they had both been manipulated from a young age by the gown ups in their lives.

“I’ll think about it,” Draco said.

“Good.”

~+~

Draco rubbed at his eyes. He could feel a headache coming. He had been up all night again, because the new part wanted to be written. He loved that these stories and characters came so easily to him, but getting it all out of his head on paper still took a lot of time and a toll on his body and mind sometimes too.

He needed sleep, a shower, food, some tea. Not necessarily in that order either. He also needed to get in touch with his current publisher and tell him that he would not be publishing his new book with his company.

Fucking joy, he thought.

He was so not looking forward to it, but it had to be done sooner rather than later. Not today, not now, because now he had hardly any brain function left besides basic needs.

He got up and made some tea, he skipped the shower for now, grabbed a day-old poppy seed pastry and then went to bed.

~+~

He woke up to insistent tapping on his bedroom window and groaned. He was really tempted to throw a pillow at the bird, but it wasn’t the owl’s fault that he was still very tired. He turned his head and used that bit of nonverbal magic he had learned abroad to open the window. It wasn’t very impressive nonverbal magic, but it was very handy at times like this.

The dark little owl flew inside and landed on Draco’s nightstand. Draco sat up and untied the note from the bird’s leg.

It was from Harry, of course it was.

_“Her name is Hell. I think you and her will get along swimmingly. Dinner tonight?”_ the note read.

Draco blinked at it. Did Harry just gift him an owl? Draco didn’t have one of his own yet, because they were bloody expensive, but of course Harry could afford to just give one away. He was still a rich little bastard and he was also an owl trainer these days.

Draco had half a mind to decline such an expensive gift, but it was a gift worthy of a prince, wasn’t it? He thought, as a smile curled up his lips.

He looked at the bird. “Hell.”

The little owl perked up and cocked her head. She looked a bit haughty and a bit regal. Draco liked that about Hell.

“Should we send him a reply?” He asked the bird and reached out to touch her soft feathers. She let him and he smiled again.

Well then, Draco thought and summoned his quill, parchment and ink.

~+~

Two days later Draco found himself in the unfortunate position to finally write that letter to his current publisher. There was nothing for it. The current book was nearly finished and Blaise, Pansy and Draco were already brainstorming cover art and marketing.

Blaise had offered him a contract for another three books under very good conditions. He knew it was a business for Blaise, but he was also aware that he was probably getting a better deal than most because he and Blaise were friends. They had been more at one point in their lives and Blaise still thought fondly of him.

He looked to Hell for inspiration. She just cocked her head at him.

He sighed. Hell would not be any help. He took a breath, it wasn’t like he didn’t know how to write these kinds of letters. His father had taught him well after all.

He grabbed the quill, he just had to summon the old Draco Malfoy and tell his publisher in clipped certain terms that their professional relationship was over, because he got a better offer.

“Why am I making such a big deal out of this?” he asked Hell.

The little owl made a noise that Draco interpreted as: how should I know. Get a move on. I’m waiting.

Draco smiled. Harry had been right, he got along just fine with his new temperamental owl.

~+~

Draco hadn’t been thinking that his refusal to work with his current publisher would go over well, but he also didn’t think the man would be outright nasty about it. He crumbled the reply letter up and threw it in the bin.

It was done. He was done with that kind of treatment.

Good riddance too.

**~Chapter Seven~**

“I guess we should have had that talk a bit earlier, but really, I had no idea how to even start,” Harry said, between kisses.

Draco made a dismayed sound. “Why are you talking?”

“Because we need to talk about this?” Harry answered. Draco had an excellent point: why was he using his mouth to talk when he could be kissing Draco.

Draco sighed and pushed Harry away gently. “You have five minutes so use them wisely, once they’re up I’m going to suck your cock, Potter.”

Harry swallowed. Fuck, but he did love Draco’s dominant side. It did all kinds of things for him to see Draco in charge.

“Okay,” Harry said.

Draco waved his wand and a small hourglass appeared. The sand inside was green and silver. He meant business apparently.

“We’ve been making out and getting each other off for a while now,” Harry said.

Draco nodded. “Go on.”

“And I love it, obviously I love it. I love your mouth on me Draco.”

Draco smirked, obviously pleased with himself.

Harry soldiered on, it wasn’t easy, because looking at Draco’s lips, made him crave Draco’s lips on him.

“You’re clearly more experienced than me when it comes to being with men.”

Draco snorted and then smiled at Harry. “I love that I’m your first. Not going to lie. It turns me on.”

Harry had suspected that. It was in the way Draco sometimes got lost in the pleasure he was giving Harry, how he sometimes just stared as Harry was coming apart under his fingers and mouth.

“So, we have been having sexual relations for weeks now but we haven’t had real sex.”

“What we’re doing is real sex, Harry,” Draco said, holding up a hand when Harry tried to say something. Draco was clearly not done yet. And he had called him Harry and not Potter, which was happening more and more often these days and told Harry that Draco was getting more comfortable with their relationship. It gave Harry hope for the future. “Because not every couple queer or not has penetrative sex. But I get what you are trying to say, or ask, okay?”

“Okay,” Harry said and swallowed. Did this little speech mean that Draco was one of the people who didn’t like penetrative sex? Would that be a deal breaker for Harry, he wondered briefly.

“You look worried Potter,” Draco said and his tone gave nothing away.

“Just wondering if you are one of those people who don’t like penetrative sex,” Harry confessed.

“Don’t worry, I am not. You might be.”

Harry looked at him. Draco’s eyes had always fascinated Harry. They were so expressive. “You want to fuck me?”

“Yes,” Draco answered. “If you want to.”

Harry swallowed. “And can I fuck you?”

Draco grinned. “Yes.”

Harry didn’t know why he felt utterly relieved by Draco’s answer, but he did. “Come here,” Harry said, already reaching for Draco.

“You sure? Your five minutes aren’t up yet,” Draco teased.

“We can spend the rest of those making out before you go down on me,” Harry said.

“I like the way you think, Harry,” Draco replied, just before he crawled onto Harry’s lap and claimed his mouth.

~+~

“Well, people have seen you with Draco Malfoy,” was the first thing Neville said.

Harry collapsed into the very comfortable armchair in Neville’s study.

“You know we’re dating,” Harry said. He had told his friends as soon as Draco had allowed it. It went over surprisingly well. Probably because everyone, except for Harry himself, had apparently known that he had been crushing on Draco sixth year.

“Yes, we knew, but soon everyone else will know too, if you two aren’t careful,” Neville replied.

Harry rubbed the bridge of his nose. He and Draco hadn’t had that particular talk yet. “I don’t want to hide him away.”

“You realize that you being with a man in public, dating a man in public will be a big deal, right?” Neville asked.

Harry nodded, yes, he did know that. He was still of interest to the media. Every one of his last relationships had been in the fucking Prophet. Thank Merlin it hadn’t been that many.

“And that man being Draco Malfoy, war criminal and former Death Eater will make things worse.”

“Aren’t you all about mending bridges and fostering interhouse relationships? If me and Draco being together isn’t a prime example, I don’t fucking know what could be. We’re all about forgiveness and moving on.”

“I’m not attacking you, or Draco or your relationship, Harry. But other people will. People who lost someone in the war.”

“I lost a lot of people in the war,” Harry said. “None of them were killed by Draco Malfoy.”

“Yes, you did, and I am happy for you, I really am. I just want you to be prepared that some people might consider you a traitor.”

“People should mind their own business, just because I’m in the public eye doesn’t mean everything I do is for public consumption. Besides I think I have given the Wizarding world enough,” Harry finished. He had lost his parents to the cause, and Sirius, Remus too. Cedric died because Voldemort had been after Harry. He had nearly died himself. He had given these people enough. These people who put all their hopes on the shoulders of a child.

He wasn’t going to give them this too.

“It won’t be easy.”

“I don’t care. When has anything ever been easy for me? Hell, Draco isn’t easy,” Harry replied. But he loved Draco. Hell, he really did love Draco and he was going to fight for them.

“Good for you,” Neville said.

Harry shook his head. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Neville asked.

“For being a good friend.”

~+~

Harry only knew what he was doing because Draco had so patiently taught him. Kissing and touching Draco had been easy, but Harry had been rather clueless when it came to anal sex and the books, while very hot and arousing, hadn’t been very helpful. He could have read up on it on sex education sites, most likely, but he found the idea of Draco teaching him how to make him feel good, a million times more appealing and arousing.

During those luxurious and sensual explorations of their bodies, Harry had made a few discoveries about Draco and about himself.

“Fuck, you really were a model student, Harry,” Draco gasped between kisses. Harry had to stop fingering Draco for short periods of time, so he could lean down and kiss the hell out of that pretty mouth. He just couldn’t help himself. He liked seeing Draco’s lips kiss swollen and basked in the knowledge that it had been him who made those lips look that way. He had always been slightly possessive with his lovers, but being with Draco took that trait to new heights. And he wasn’t alone in that either, Draco was just as bad, or maybe even worse. While Draco didn’t like being marked in any kind, not even in a semi-permanent way, not even by something like a hickey, he loved to leave his own marks all over Harry’s body.

“You are a great teacher,” Harry replied and looked at Draco as he slowly withdrew his finger. “Another one, I think?” It was only half a question, by now he knew Draco’s body well after all.

Draco nodded. “Yes.” His skin was flushed and he looked very hot.

Harry had to kiss him again, before he reapplied lube and pushed two fingers inside Draco. He loved having Draco’s fingers inside him too, especially when Draco was going down on him. The combined sensations always had him on the edge in a matter of minutes. Draco, Harry had learned, liked to draw it out. He liked to concentrate on his ass or cock only for a while and Harry loved watching him. All that pale skin, flushed with a pretty pink in all the right arousing places. He ran his fingertips over the scar he left Draco with all those years ago and Draco moaned. He had asked Draco about it pretty much the first time they got naked together, and Draco had told him that it wasn’t especially sensitive but once Harry got to touch it, he had moaned in that way he was doing now. For some reason it heightened Draco’s arousal.

“Add another,” Draco ordered and Harry did. Draco closed his eyes in bliss. He was just so fucking beautiful.

He was pretty sure that tonight was going to be the night Draco would tell Harry to fuck him. Draco opened his eyes and smiled at Harry lazily. “You want to fuck me, Harry?”

The first words that came to mind were: Merlin, fuck yes. Of course. “I want to make love to you Draco,” was what he said instead. “Badly.”

Draco laughed and then moaned. His body tightened around Harry’s fingers. Just imagining how that would feel around his cock, got him harder.

“Yeah, I want you to make love to me badly too, so maybe you should pull out your fingers and get your pretty cock inside me,” Draco said, reaching out to grab Harry by the neck and pulling him closer. They were breathing each other’s air and it was hot, everything about Draco was hot. The tight grip he had on Harry’s neck, the intensity and desire in his eyes, the way his body accepted Harry inside him. The way he liked to tell Harry how pretty his cock was, how good it tasted.

“Fuck,” Harry said.

“Yes, that is the idea, no matter what pretty words we use,” Draco replied and kissed him hard.

Harry’s cock was so on board with that idea. He pulled his fingers out, lubed up his cock and pushed Draco’s legs wider apart. Draco propped himself up on his elbows like he wanted to see everything. Harry took a deep breath.

“Don’t be nervous, you’ve fucked people before,” Draco said.

“I want to make this good for you,” Harry whispered.

“It’s you, so it will already be good, but with practice it will get better and better,” Draco replied. “And we will have a lot of practice.”

Harry grabbed one of Draco’s legs for a better angle and pushed inside, slowly. Being inside Draco’s tight heat felt incredible.

“Draco,” he said, because other words failed him. There was no way to describe it, but he hoped that Draco knew how good he felt around Harry’s cock. He took a moment to just breathe once he bottomed out.

Draco stared at the point where their bodies were joined, and Harry stared at Draco’s face. Then Draco looked up. “Move,” he demanded, and Harry did, because Draco using that tone in bed made Harry forget any reason.

He started slow, not only for Draco’s sake, but his own too. He wanted to savor this, to commit it to memory. The feel of it, the heat, the friction. The way Draco’s body responded.

He didn’t think being inside Draco would ever get old, but it was special this first time and they both knew it.

Once he didn’t feel so overwhelmed with feelings anymore, he set a faster pace, he knew how Draco liked to be fucked with fingers, so he varied speed and strength accordingly.

“Fuck, feels so good,” Draco groaned. He loved how honest Draco was during sex. It was like he left his protective shell outside the bedroom and let Harry see all of him. “A bit harder,” he added, and Harry obliged. He could tell that Draco was close and that was good, because Harry didn’t think he could keep himself from falling apart in the best way possible any longer.

“Touch yourself,” Harry said, harshly.

“Giving orders now, Harry?” Draco asked, his hand wasn’t moving. He was looking Harry in the eyes and panting and licking his lips. That little tease.

“Touch yourself, please, Draco. I’m close and want to see you come,” Harry gave in.

Draco’s fingers curled around his cock. “You will love it.”

“What?”

“How it feels when I come around your cock, Harry.”

Harry groaned. Draco was going to be the death of him. He didn’t mind, at all.

Draco was right of course, he loved how tightly Draco’s body squeezed him. It was nearly painful and he didn’t try to move at all, while Draco rode out his orgasm. The only thing he could do was feel and stare and feel incredibly lucky that Draco was his.

“I want you to come on my chest,” Draco said, once.

Harry blinked at him.

“Come on my chest,” Draco repeated in that tone that made Harry obey him. He pulled out, he was so fucking close it only took a few hard strokes for him to come all over Draco’s chest.

“I love you,” Harry said, as he collapsed half on Draco.

Draco’s fingers found his nape and then he started to stroke that spot at the base of Harry’s skull that made him feel boneless.

“Really?” Draco asked, but he was teasing.

“Really, and I know you love me too,” Harry said.

“Yeah? How so?”

“You just let me mark you,” Harry said.

“You marked me years ago, Harry,” Draco replied softly.

“Yes, but we both know this is different,” Harry said.

Draco kissed his shoulder. “It is. Sleep now, Harry. You earned it and you will need your strength.”

“Yeah?” Harry asked.

“You didn’t really think we were done yet, did you?” Draco asked.

“I hope we will never be done, Draco,” Harry said and meant it.

**~Chapter Eight~**

“I know who you really are, Belladonna. I think it would be in both our interests if you declined your new publisher’s offer and instead took mine. You will understand that I can’t offer you your old contract anymore, now that I know who you are and what you’ve done. After the way you treated me. But I’m willing to keep your secret, Malfoy, for the rights to your next three books. Find the new contract and terms attached. I hope I will hear from you very soon.

Sincerely,  
P.J. Publisher, etc.etc.”

Draco read it and then he read it again.

“That little weasel,” he hissed. There was no way in hell he would let this man blackmail him.

No way in hell. He didn’t even look at the contract, because he knew he wouldn’t like it. He crumbled that up instead too. The owl was still waiting. Draco was tempted to write a curt ‘fuck off’ and be done with it, but that wouldn’t solve a damn thing. He needed a second opinion and he knew he would have to tell Harry the truth too. Which sucked, because things with Harry were going very well.

He hated it when someone forced his hand like that, when someone was holding something over his head and thought it gave them power. He had had enough of that when he had been sixteen. He was done being used by lesser men.

He whistled for Hell. The little owl came in a matter of minutes and then made it very clear that the foreign owl wasn’t welcome. Draco smiled and grabbed the quill. He needed to talk to Blaise and Pansy and once that was done and they had a war-plan, he would talk to Harry.

~+~

“Well, it was bound to bite you in the ass sooner or later,” Pansy said.

Draco gave her a look that hopefully conveyed eloquently how much that wasn’t helping him. She rolled her eyes at him and handed him a Petit Fours.

He took it as the peace offering it probably was.

Blaise poured himself a cup of tea. “Have you talked to Harry about it?”

“No,” Draco replied. “Before you two start, I will tell him about me being the infamous erotica writer Belladonna, but I want to deal with this bullshit first.”

“How?” Pansy asked.

“That is why we’re gathered here, Pansy,” Draco replied, curtly.

“I’m going to keep all the Petit Fours to myself if you keep that up Draco,” she warned.

“If I knew how to deal with it, without killing that prick, that is, I wouldn’t have asked you two for help,” Draco said.

“The easiest solution would be to tell Potter everything and then let the hero handle it,” Pansy said.

“Are you insane? Do I look like a fucking damsel in distress to you? I don’t need Harry to save me.”

“He’s done it before,” Pansy pointed out.

“I hope you have a better solution, because I’m inclined to leave, if all you can come up with is: let Harry Potter handle it.”

“You could out yourself,” Blaise said.

“Right, because that wouldn’t tank my career,” Draco replied.

“He can’t blackmail you with something that isn’t there, Draco,” Blaise said reasonably. “Over the last few years you did your best to be a good person. You reflected on the way you were raised, you acknowledged your mistakes and you hooked up with Harry Potter.”

“Why are we dragging Harry into this again?” Draco asked, getting irritated at his friends.

“We could kill him,” Pansy threw in.

Draco gave he another look. “No. No killing.” Draco didn’t think he had the stomach for that. Merlin, he wanted to, he really did want to make that prick disappear, but having to keep that secret as well? Having to keep that secret from Harry? No, that wasn’t an option at all.

“Find out what he wants to keep a secret then,” Pansy said.

“That could work,” Blaise said.

Draco nodded. “And if there isn’t anything?” Because some people didn’t have deep dark secrets.

“Then you will have to come out as Belladonna and hope for the best. Maybe we can combine your unveiling-“

Pansy snorted and Blaise gave her a look, and then continued, “Maybe we can combine it with the release of your new book.”

“You want to make it an event?” Draco asked unbelieving.

Blaise shrugged, but his dark eyes were shining. “Why not? It will surely be a scandal, yes, but it will also promote the book. I think the people who really liked your books, would still buy them, and you being, well you, might get you new readers.”

“The critiques will tear me apart,” Draco said.

“They might, but then you can be sure it’s not because of your writing, but because they’re all biased shits and you can call them out on it. We should ask Lovegood to print an interview with you in her magazine. In fact that should be the only interview you give. Good for both sites.”

“You talk like it’s a done deal,” Draco objected.

“Well, you don’t want to give in into his demands, good on you by the way, and you don’t want to kill him, also good on you. This seems like the only good option.” Blaise took a sip of his tea and then reached for a Petit Fours.

“Blaise is right. We need to go on the offense on this one. You dating Potter will help. You might be a former Death Eater and war criminal-”

“Pardoned war criminal,” Blaise corrected before Draco could and he was grateful for that. It might be a small distinction, but it was important to Draco. He usually didn’t put that distinction out there when he was talking about himself, but he liked that his friends corrected people.

“Pardoned war criminal, but you are also Harry Potter’s boyfriend,” Pansy finished.

Draco didn’t like it. He wanted to solve this problem on his own, well with the help of his friends, but still.

“I know what you’re thinking, but you and Harry are a couple now. You should decide such things together, tackle problems together, be a team, Draco,” Blaise said.

Fuck, Draco thought, Blaise was right. “Fuck. I will have to come out as Belladonna, won’t I?”

“It’s the best solution, you could try to dig up some dirt on your dirtbag of a former publisher, but that will take time and the sooner you deal with this the better Draco. But of course, that is only my humble opinion,” Pansy said and handed him another petit Fours. Draco took that one too.

“Fuck,” Draco said again with feeling.

“It might turn out alright. I mean, you’re already better off than you were when you first came back to England, Draco. You have the manor back, you have some money saved up, you have Potter, you have us on your side. You will come out of this alright, no matter what,” Pansy said.

“Once you agree to this, I will set things in motion and I will make it work to your benefit, Draco,” Blaise added.

Draco nodded. “Thank you.”

“Well, what else are friends for?” Pansy asked.

“You’re still not allowed to put naked men on the cover of my new book, Pansy,” Draco said.

She grinned at him. “Spoilsport, but I will wear you down, eventually. Maybe by book seven you will think differently about it.”

He sincerely hoped that there would be a book seven, because Draco had no illusions about this. The backlash would be immense.

~+~

“You look nervous, Draco. Are you going to propose?” Harry joked.

Draco gave him a look. He knew that Harry was only trying to put him at ease, but he was too nervous to play along. It wasn’t only the fact that he was Belladonna, he was pretty sure Harry could handle that little white lie, it was also the fucking blackmail.

Just thinking about it made Draco mad as hell again.

“Draco-“

“Shut up for a second, Harry,” Draco cut in. He needed to calm down.

Harry crossed his arms over his chest and just looked at him. He wasn’t mad yet, but by now Draco knew him well enough to know that Harry wasn’t very patient, strictly speaking. He took a deep breath.

“I have something to tell you,” Draco said.

“Should I sit down for this?” Harry asked. Something in his voice made Draco look at him.

Fuck, was he thinking they were going to break up?

“I’m not breaking up with you, but yes, I think you might want to sit down for this, Harry,” Draco said.

So Harry sat down. Draco was tempted to pace, but then he sat down too. “I’m Belladonna.”

Harry just looked at him. “The writer?”

“Yes, the writer, Harry,” Draco answered.

“You – that is what you do for a living? Write pornography.”

“Tasteful pornography,” Draco corrected.

Harry smiled briefly before he got serious again. “Okay, that is unexpected. Why did you keep it a secret?”

“Because I’m Draco Malfoy,” Draco replied. “I think the last thing anyone would expect me to do would be write erotica. The last thing anyone wanted to do was to throw money at me.”

“Scandalous erotica,” Harry corrected gently, ignoring the last sentence.

This time it was Draco who smiled briefly. That wasn’t going so badly. “By keeping it a secret, I made sure that I had an income. I doubt anyone would have bought my book if I had put my real name on it. Or would have written a favorable critique.”

“Your first book was published four years ago,” Harry said.

“Nearly five, the war was still very fresh for a lot of people. It still is for some,” Draco replied.

“Thank you for telling me the truth Draco,” Harry said.

“Blaise said that secrets between us never ended well,” Draco replied.

Harry smiled. “You have the scar to prove it, too.”

“There is more,” Draco said, getting back on track.

“I kind of thought there might be,” Harry admitted.

“I want to publish my new book with Blaise’s new company as you well know. My old publisher didn’t take it well. In fact they somehow found out who Belladonna really is, yours truly and is now blackmailing me.”

“What?”

“He will expose my identity if I don’t sign a three-book contract and let me tell you the conditions are less than favorable. He intends to pay me next to nothing,” Draco explained.

“What do you intend to do?”

“The thought of killing him crossed my mind once or twice,” Draco joked.

“But we don’t do that anymore,” Harry said, gently.

“No, we don’t do that anymore,” Draco said. It was sometimes too easy to forget that Harry had killed Voldemort. Granted, it was kind of an accident, but Draco was sure that it still weighted on Harry.

“So, what is the plan?” Harry said.

“Blaise and Pansy think it would be best if I took this matter in my own hands. If I came out to the world on my own terms. Blaise thinks Lovegood could help me with that too.”

“Luna would,” Harry replied. “This might damage your career.”

“Yes,” Draco said. It was very likely that it would in fact, Draco thought.

“But you still want to do it?”

“I refuse to give into fear again, Harry. I had enough of that. I really fucking did,” Draco answered.

Harry nodded in understanding. “What about the manor?”

“If my whole career comes crashing down after this book, I might need to sell the manor,” Draco replied. He might do it anyway. He had gotten out of it what he could. He hadn’t been able to banish the ghosts and demons of that horrific year yet and he didn’t think he wanted to try any longer. He could live anywhere, really. Maybe one day soon he and Harry could move in together. Once this whole thing blew over, he could even assume a new pen name and start anew with Blaise’s help. He knew now that he had talent and will to make it as a writer. The future wasn’t bleak this time around, he wasn’t desperate for money or recognition.

“It’s your family home,” Harry said.

“Like your family home, mine is full of ghosts too, Harry. I don’t need it. Someone else can have it.”

“It seems to me you’re pretty set on doing it,” Harry said.

“You will be dragged into it, Harry. Papers are already speculating about the nature of our relationship.”

Harry waved it away. “I don’t care.”

“They might start to speculate on our sex life too, Harry,” Draco warned. The connection from writing to real life was just too easy to make for some people after all. Especially if they wanted to cause drama or wanted exposure.

“I don’t care,” Harry repeated. “Let them speculate about who is fucking who and how.”

“Your business might suffer as well. People might not want to buy their children your owls anymore because you’re dating a deviant.”

Harry grinned. “You and I both know I don’t need the money.” He got up and kneeled in front of Draco. Draco really liked Harry on his knees. Harry took Draco’s hands in his own and looked up at Draco. “We will be fine,” Harry said, and Draco believed him.

**~Chapter Nine~**

“I know you won’t take me up on it, but I could just deal with your publisher problem,” Harry said the next morning. Draco looked rumpled and well fucked and Harry loved waking up to him being there.

Draco blinked up at him. “Why are you awake?” He asked groggily and then buried his face in the pillow. Draco was not really a morning person. Harry thought that was probably partly because he worked at night. Now that he knew that Draco was a writer, a lot of his odd little habits made more sense.

“Because it’s morning,” Harry replied.

Draco groaned. “I need to do a better job of wearing you out next time then.”

Harry thought that Draco did an excellent job of fucking him last night. He could still feel all those little aches in all the right places.

“You did great last night,” Harry assured and Draco looked at him. “You look smug,” Harry observed.

“Really? Maybe because I feel smug,” Draco said. He rolled on his back and looked up at the ceiling.

Harry looked at Draco. His pale skin, his straight nose, his lashes. His face was so soft and young after he just woke up.

“I don’t want you to deal with my problems, Harry. I don’t need a hero. I am perfectly able to handle my own problems.”

“I know you are. I just wanted to put it out there. We’re a team now, right?”

“We are,” Draco replied. “Just out of curiosity how would you have dealt with it if I would have said yes?”

Harry kissed his nose, because it was right there and because he could do these silly little things now. Draco huffed like he was irritated, but Harry knew that he liked it.

“There are a few ways to deal with someone like that. Of course I could just go over there and do my, I’m Harry Potter and I am very disappointed in you thing. Sometimes you can guilt-trip people into doing the right thing.”

“I bet you can,” Draco commented. “Don’t think it would work with this guy.”

“I could ask a favor from a few Auror friends,” Harry continued.

“To intimidate him?” Draco asked.

“Maybe? I wouldn’t want to know too many details,” Harry admitted. “I could offer him money.”

“No way in hell, he doesn’t get another Knut out of me, or you,” Draco protested, nearly angrily.

Harry kissed his nose again. “I’m not actually going to do any of these things, because you won’t let me and you don’t need a hero.”

“I know,” Draco replied, he grabbed Harry by the neck and pulled him down, so they could kiss.

“Starting something?” Harry asked, his breathing was a bit too hard and his heart was beating a bit too fast, but that was the effect Draco had on him.

“I’m awake, so we might as well get each other off, and then shower together.”

Just imagining Draco naked and wet made Harry’s cock hard.

“Or do you have to be somewhere this morning?” Draco asked.

Even if Harry would have been needed somewhere, there was no way in hell he would pass up mellow morning sex with Draco.

“No, I don’t have to be anywhere,” Harry replied.

“Good,” Draco said.

~+~

“Harry,” Blaise said, “good to see you.”

“Good to see you too,” Harry replied as he let Blaise inside. Pansy Parkinson followed.

“Parkinson,” Harry said.

“Potter,” Pansy nodded. “Who would have thought we would be on the same side one day?”

Harry smiled. “Not me.”

“Well, I have a talent for bringing people together,” Draco cut in.

It was a war-council. Harry had no illusions about that. He suspected that both Blaise and Pansy had the urge to destroy Draco’s old publisher, but that they were holding back, like Harry was holding back.

Blaise winked at him when Draco wasn’t looking. He should probably meet up with Blaise soon, have a beer, catch up, entertain thoughts of retribution.

“I talked to Luna, she is delighted to interview Draco,” Harry said, as they all sat down. It was so weird to have so many former Slytherins in his home. But it felt nice too.

“She asked me for an autograph, apparently Lovegood is a fan,” Draco threw in. He felt very smug about it, Harry could tell. Draco liked to pretend that writing was just something he did, but Harry knew that he took it seriously, that he had honed his craft and that it was demanding work too. Sometimes when Draco finally crawled into bed after a night of writing he looked washed out and frail. He had told Harry one night that it felt like all his blood and creativity were soaked up by the parchment. All Harry could do then was to hold him close and let Draco sleep.

“So, she is fine with Belladonna being, well you?” Pansy asked.

Draco waved it away. “Sure, she is. But it’s Lovegood. I don’t think for a moment that the rest of the public will be won over that easily.”

Blaise cocked his head. “Maybe we just have a screwed perspective of it all. We’re too close to it. We’re involved, we have regrets and demons. Maybe the majority of your readers won’t even care.”

Wouldn’t that be nice, Harry thought.

“Since when are you so optimistic?” Draco asked.

Blaise grinned. “I don’t know. Maybe being friends with Harry Potter rubbed off on me.”

“Back on track boys,” Pansy said. “So, Lovegood is going to interview you and publish it in her little magazine. Good. Blaise?”

Blaise nodded. “I’m setting up a book signing. Only one date, to start with. I will coordinate with Lovegood, so the article will be published a week before the book release and signing. Depending on how people react we can always add more dates. A week also gives people some time to get over themselves.”

“I will provide security. Before you start, Draco. It’s so I feel better. I want you to be safe and I don’t want you to hex anyone. I don’t want anyone to get hurt, especially not you, okay?” Harry said.

“Isn’t that sweet?” Pansy asked.

Draco shot her a look, that clearly said he wasn’t amused. “Okay,” Draco said.

“Security might not be a bad idea, we don’t know how people will react to this. It’s big.”

It shouldn’t be a big deal, Harry thought, but Blaise was right.

“Did you hear from your old publisher?” Blaise asked.

“He sent another owl. Hell made her displeasure known,” Draco replied with a smile. “He’s getting impatient with my silence.”

“We need to stall then,” Harry said. “Write him back, don’t sign anything.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “Of course I won’t sign anything with him. I already signed a contract with Blaise.”

“Isn’t that a huge risk?” Harry asked Blaise.

“Well, if they should throw fruit at him then we will just give him another pen name, and he will have to start anew as an up and coming author. We already know Draco is a talented writer. His books will sell like hotcakes.”

He and Draco had talked about that possibility of course. They had talked about a lot of things since Draco had told him about being Belladonna. They were making plans, real plans for their future together. Draco had said that he didn’t mind writing under a penname. It would have been nice if people started to associate the Malfoy name with something positive, but Draco wasn’t holding his breath for that happening anytime soon.

“It’s decided then,” Pansy said. “We need to go over the options for the cover,” she said to Draco.

“Still no naked men, Pansy,” Draco replied, long suffering.

“Fine,” Pansy replied. “Still, come over and look at the ones I already prepared, okay? We want to get this book out there. The sooner the better.”

Draco nodded. “Yeah.”

It seemed to Harry like they had it all under control and it was a pleasure to see Draco scheme.

~+~

“Blaise wants to buy the manor,” Draco said two weeks later. The book was finished, the revisions were done and it was being edited right now. Draco and Pansy had finally agreed on a cover and Draco was probably feeling the pressure of the release date. Which was two months from now.

Draco would sit down with Luna next week to get the interview done and then there would be nothing for them to do. He wanted to steal Draco away for a vacation and make the wait until the news broke more pleasant.

“Your manor?” Harry asked.

Draco nodded, flopping down into what Harry by now considered Draco’s chair. Draco hardly spent any time at his own little flat anymore.

“Why?” Harry wanted to know.

“He thinks it would make great offices, just a bit of remodeling and he could build his empire from there.”

“Your empire,” Harry said.

Draco smiled. “Our empire?”

“Don’t even pretend, you are thinking about buying into it, aren’t you? Pansy too.”

“Well, yes, as silent partners. Blaise is rich, yes, but a bit more backing would help him too,” Draco replied.

“You could buy in with the manor,” Harry said.

Draco nodded. “Yes, I could.”

“Do you want to?”

“I don’t want to live there anymore and I can’t imagine anyone else wanting to live there, but using it as a work space, yes I can see that happening.”

“I think it’s a great idea, Draco. We surely need braver publishers around here,” Harry said.

“You think I’m brave?”

“Yes, you and Blaise, hell even Pansy,” Harry said.

“Coming from you that means a lot,” Draco replied.

“Are you starting a new book now that you finished ‘The banished prince’?” Harry asked.

“Already ideas are clawing at me, but no. I need some downtime and honestly waiting for the release and signing and interview to come out stresses me out a bit.”

“A bit?”

“Just a tiny bit,” Draco answered.

“Let’s go on a vacation then,” Harry said.

“You want to steal me away, Harry?” Draco asked, there was amusement in his voice.

Harry liked that. He liked playful, dirty, cunning Draco.

“Yes, I want to steal you away,” Harry admitted.

“Whatever would we do all day long?”

“I have a few ideas,” Harry said.

“Do you now?”

“Yes, they involve you and me being naked a lot. And in close proximity to each other,” Harry replied. “In fact I have elaborate fantasies about us being naked together.”

“Really?” Draco asked, playfully, but there was that edge to his voice too, that Harry, really, really liked hearing.

“Really,” Harry answered. “So, what do you say?”

“What about the owls?” Draco asked.

“I can ask someone to look after them for a few days,” Harry replied.

“Or I could just spend a few days here and we could be naked together in this house,” Draco offered, and Harry loved that about Draco. Maybe it was true, maybe once a Slytherin decided to give themselves over to one person, they would do anything for that person. Maybe they were the most loyal people and Harry was honored that Draco had decided to give himself over to Harry.

“Or outside in the garden, we haven’t fucked outside yet, which is a shame, really,” Draco continued.

“I see you have some ideas and fantasies of your own,” Harry teased.

“It’s like you never read any of my books, Harry,” Draco replied.

“You know very well I read all of your books,” Harry said, as he got up from his chair and walked over to where Draco was sitting.

“Hm,” Draco hummed, he was already getting distracted as Harry kneeled down in front of him. Draco’s eyes settled on him and Harry’s heart missed a beat. There was so much hunger in them. Draco reached out and carded his fingers through Harry’s hair. “I remember this one.”

“You wrote it, so-“ Harry shrugged.

“Did it turn you on?” Draco asked, as his fingers slipped down Harry’s neck.

“Yes,” Harry answered, his voice sounded breathy to his own ears.

“If I remember correctly you should be naked and hard,” Draco said.

“I’m already one of those things,” Harry admitted.

“Then we’re halfway there, now strip,” Draco said, and it was the tone that made Harry’s cock pay attention, so he stripped, because it made Draco happy. And because Harry really loved it when Draco took charge like this.

As soon as he kneeled Draco’s hands were on him again: in Harry’s hair, caressing his neck, his arms, his chest, tweaking a nipple none too gently.

“You are gorgeous, you know that?” Draco asked, but Harry was pretty sure he didn’t expect an answer. “Especially naked and hard on your knees for me. Desperate for my cock.”

Hell, Harry thought, he had imagined that scene from Draco’s book, but having Draco play it out with him was so much better, so much more arousing.

~+~

“So, Malfoy, your boyfriend Malfoy,” Ron said, and to his credit didn’t even stumble anymore over the words, “is also a famous, soon to be infamous erotica writer?”

Harry nodded. “Yes.”

“And you tell us because?” Hermione wanted to know.

“Because he’s part of my life, because he gave me permission to tell you and because he’s going to reveal his true identity at the book signing next week.”

“Oh, Harry,” Hermione said. He knew that tone, she was concerned for him.

“We have a plan, everything will be fine, and I don’t care what people think about me dating Draco Malfoy, infamous erotica writer. They can think what they want, if someone should say something to my face, well… we will see how that will go.”

“Please don’t start a fight, Harry,” Hermione said.

“I won’t start a fight; I will surely end one. I mean, I have practice, I ended a war too.”

“You had help mate,” Ron threw in.

Harry smiled. “Yes, I did, and I hope Draco and I can count on you two to have our backs this time too?”

“Walked right into that one, didn’t I?” Ron asked, but he was grinning.

Harry nodded, smiling.

“Of course, Harry,” Hermione said. “I’m glad you’re happy. We always wanted that for you.”

“Didn’t expect it to be with bloody Malfoy, but that’s life,” Ron added.

“Well my life has always been anything but ordinary,” Harry said.

“True, so why start now, right?” Ron replied.

Harry grinned at them. “Exactly.”

**~Epilogue~**

“Always.”

That was the title of the new book. It was inspired by the story Harry had told him about Snape and Lily one night, but it was also kind of his and Harry’s story.

Harry just looked at him.

“What do you think?” He asked.

“I think it’s perfect,” Harry answered. He had of course been the first to read the rough draft, but it hadn’t had a title two weeks ago. Titles really were the hardest part of writing, Draco thought. It was like naming a child. A fully grown child.

“Thank Merlin,” Draco said and Harry laughed.

“It’s good you finally came up with a title, Blaise was getting impatient,” Harry said.

Draco waved it away. “Blaise knows the drill. These things need time. You might think after six years being my publisher he would have learned to just let me sleep on it.”

“Pansy had some creative ideas,” Harry teased.

“Pansy is not allowed to name anything, not even her own children,” Draco replied and made himself at home in Harry’s lap. Now that the new book was done and had a title it was out of his hands. He would have to fight with Pansy over covers soon, but for now he was done. The voices in his head were gone and he felt hungry for Harry.

“Will this one have naked men on it?”

“Over my dead body, Harry,” Draco replied. His books might be pornography with plot and feelings, but it was tasteful pornography and he wanted that reflected on the book covers, especially as his birth-name was on them too.

It had taken time to get where he was now. Dating Harry Potter, being an established and successful author and business owner. He still liked to shock his readers with the things he wrote about, but he drew the line at horrid cover art.

“Well, at least this one is tamer than ‘Knots’,” Harry said.

“As I remember you liked when I did research for ‘Knots’,” Draco whispered.

“I did and still do. In fact, I was thinking maybe we could use some of that knowledge tonight,” Harry replied, and Draco had to kiss him. Just thinking about Harry tied up to their bed made him hard.

“Did I ever tell you that I love when you do research for your books? We always learn so much,” Harry continued once Draco stopped devouring his mouth.

“And have so much fun trying it all out too,” Draco said.

“Yeah,” Harry replied. “So, ropes tonight?”

“Yes,” Draco said, because of course. He licked his lips. “How about you take me upstairs now and fuck me into the mattress?”

This time it was Harry who kissed him. “Gladly.”

“I love you,” Draco said because sometimes he just had to tell Harry and because Harry always went all soft and glowing when Draco said those words.

“I love you too,” Harry whispered. “Now get your ass in the bedroom.”

Draco gladly complied.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please support the author by clicking on the kudos button and leaving a comment below! ♥


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